Words

There are certain words and phrases which, to me, sound much better in a regional accent. I was reminded of this on Saturday whilst using the “strimmer”. The word “strimmer” must be said in a Brummy accent. I can’t say “cup of tea”, I have to say “kipper tie” (from the famous joke), again in a Brummy accent. “Profiteroles”, which I never actually eat, and “smoky bacon”, which I regularly do, require a Geordie accent (”a canny bagga tudor smoky bacon pet”). “Calm down”, cannot be said in anything other than Scouse, “you were lucky!” needs a broad Yorkshire drawl (a la Monty Python), “are you alright?” and “have you got a light?” should only be said in the most Norfolk of broads. Is it just me or does everyone else do this?

By the way, the Americans don’t have “strimmers”, they have “weed whackers” which sounds far better than “strimmer” (even in a Brummy accent).

It’s official

My wife is officially a lightweight when it comes to drinking. She used to be able to reduce grown men to babbling drunken wrecks: now she has a couple of gin and tonics and spends the next day throwing up in her dressing gown. I arrived home after a hard round of golf yesterday afternoon, expecting my dinner to be on the table, to find a very shabby looking Cathy, her face the shade of translucent blue usually reserved for Scotsmen and a half starved, feral Sam running riot. What a shambles, I had to send her to bed.

Suck it and see

We’ve always tried to let Sam set the pace, we’ve waited until he’s good and ready before introducing major new ideas. This worked a treat with toilet training but now it gets difficult. Yesterday he lost his much treasured dummy, we’ve built him up to the idea that once it’s gone he’s not having a new one. He didn’t use it too much, just for comfort at bedtime, but it’s all very real now. I predict that all hell will be breaking loose at neveratoss Towers. I’m very, very glad that I’m at work today, gawd ‘elp Cathy. Does anyone fancy going to the pub every night this week?

Update: I rang Cathy to find out how Sam is handling dummy “cold turkey”. Apparently he is sitting on the sofa playing with his willy. Dunno where he gets that from!

We can have lots of good fun that is funny

We took Sam to the cinema yesterday afternoon to see The Cat in the Hat. We’ve never taken him before: he’s never actually sat still for more than ten minutes at a time. He was wide eyed from the second we arrived at the cinema, he sat transfixed throughout the whole movie, he ate popcorn and chocolate, he had a great time. I don’t do movie reviews but …for an afternoon out with a three year old boy I thought that The Cat in the Hat was a good choice.